Posts tagged cats
It’s a twofer Caturday today …
It’s Caturday. I think I’ll make this a tradition.
We have a glass-topped table. Guess where Pickles likes to sit while we eat?
Then it’s play time in the Train Room.
You can’t tell, but he has a little “micro goatee” under his chin that is adorable. And when you scratch his cheeks, he furrows his nose so much he gets a deep crease down the middle. He’s also got one blue eye and one yellow eye. And two sharp 90° turns in his tail so it looks like a periscope going by.
Yes, he’s flawed. But he’s perfect. He’s Pickles, Our Big White Cat.
Cleaning out my inbox and found this. Thought I’d pass it along, again.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, because I fall faster than you can run.
When I am in the bathroom, the door is closed for a reason. There is no other exit. Be patient, I’ll come out the same way I went in.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used – is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
The proper order is: kiss me, then go smell the other dogs’ butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door…
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
- They live here. You don’t.
- If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
- I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
- To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.
- Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t smoke or drink, don’t worry about buying the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.